you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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