Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
