I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
