I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I believe in your delicious
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
