Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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