Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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