sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
