My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize