38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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