I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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