so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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