If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
