By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
