ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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