His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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