So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
