She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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