a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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