my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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