i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't deserve a penis
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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