you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
