u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
