You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
