do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
