I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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