ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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