She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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