DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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