Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
