Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
What a dumb baby whore.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
