it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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