There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
