I think my fart just growled at me.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
