you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
