Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
