Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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