The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
