i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
