yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
