glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
