A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
