Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have demons in me.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
