Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it's great music for shaving your balls
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
