I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
