I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
