Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
