You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize