I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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