keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
