ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
