I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
