Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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