...so i touched it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
