What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
