beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
