Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
