We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
