I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The air was thick with penises
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
