Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
