apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
